Joaquin Phoenix, what’s the deal?
It was all uphill from here. You already overcame being a child actor, very few escape that trap. You escaped being the significantly less attractive and less talented younger sibling of River Phoenix, Chad Lowe is calling and he wants your help with that. You showed up in Gladiator, killed in Walk the Line, got paid in We Own the Night. Life was good and it was good to be Joaquin Phoenix.
The rap thing. Hmmm…usually there is a certain amount of street credibility associated with hip hop artists that you may have a tough time earning. Stuff like getting shot sixteen times, or growing up in rough neighborhoods, overcoming obstacles that create pain that goes into music that listeners who have also been shot growing up in rough neighborhoods can relate to. Also, usually people strive to become famous rappers to become millionaires, not while they are millionaires. I know that sounds inequitable, but I don’t make the rules.
Is like a Michael Jordan playing baseball thing? Do you think you are too good at the acting thing, own the game, and need a new challenge in your life? Possibly your 2008 People’s Choice Award for favorite leading man went to your head. Okay, but you’re not really that good. You are pretty wooden in most of your roles, save Walk the Line, where again, you were brilliant. Possibly you think you can’t peak beyond that Johnny Cash performance, and I get that, not just because I am smarter than everyone else. That could definitely be the case.
I’m okay with the David Letterman appearance. Gutsy, because it didn’t work out too well for the careers of Crispin Glover and Harvey Pekar to piss that guy off with overt strangeness. I respect your courage for that, although, this week alone your IMDB popularity soared 7,150%, so possibly there is a method to your madness. It could be that you are smarter than me, though not likely, and it is your life.
I’ll make you a deal, because I want you to push yourself to the limits of your excellence, because I am into stuff like that too. Bring home three Oscars and then do the disoriented prospector fresh from the hills on painkillers act on national talk shows and retirement from acting. Bring home hardware like the Robert Downey, Jr. character from Tropic Thunder, and then you can make a case you transcended the game and it’s time to move on.
Regardless of how good you are as a hip hop artist, without the sixteen bullets and only way to get out is through my rhymes urban upbringing, chances are good that people may not listen to your music with an open mind. You may be similar to the 6′ 9″ Jordan struggling to hit a curve ball, or any pitch with his gargantuan strike zone in a game that he also loved, but was completely not equipped to succeed in.
No matter what happens, you will always be River Phoenix’s less talented brother that really nailed the Johnny Cash performance to me. So you have that going for you, which is nice.
6 responses so far ↓
Pamela // February 17, 2009 at 5:46 pm |
He’s crazy. I saw the the segment of him in the show of David Letterman ans I was like WTF, dude! Dont just sit there, dummy! He was totally out of it.
Michael // February 17, 2009 at 8:44 pm |
Pamela: I only saw snippets, but Letterman will call you out if you don’t bring your a-game to his show. He’s kind of hard core like that. It reminded me of the Crispin Glover appearance many years ago.
itsnotlucky // February 20, 2009 at 4:45 am |
Not that I disagree with your larger point that Joaquin Phoenix is off his frickin’ gourd, but (mainstream) rap music is made for suburban white boys who think it represents some authentic masculinity that they, as “respectable white suburban boys,” aren’t “allowed” to express. Probably they have feelings that they qualify by saying, “I know it’s not PC, but…” Rappers, of course, know who buys their records, and perform what these kids want to see and hear. Which is… like… pouring Chandon and… shooting… women and gay people?
Michael // February 20, 2009 at 7:14 am |
Katie: It wasn’t always that way, at it’s roots artists like Grandmaster Flash had a lot of social commentary about socioeconomic conditions that strike a common chord across all class structures. Your point has validity for younger suburban audiences, but if you’ve been around the block a couple of times you know it’s like a jungle out there, sometimes I wonder how I keep from going under.
At the heart of it all, the classic “Horatio Alger”, local boy who comes from nothing and grows up to live the American Dream, which has been around since the 1800’s, never finds to fail an audience. Even rich suburban white boys with every advantage will, if they grow up to be successful, believe they did it because of their guts and sweat equity, all the time the spent in a lab with a pen and a pad trying to get this damn label off.
that chick | from bk // February 27, 2009 at 12:26 pm |
it’s all a ruse. a giant Punk’d if you will. look out for the documentary at your local 7-11.
Michael // February 28, 2009 at 6:01 am |
that chick from bk: I am inclined to agree. In retrospect, it’s actually kind of cool and funny.